When it comes to relinquishing a child or children, it is important to understand that there are a number of myths that should be corrected.

It is a myth that the grief of relinquishment is the same process as other grief reactions.

• The effects of relinquishment - the loss of a child by adoption - are negative and long-lasting.
• The loss remains constant, even when contact is established with lost sons or daughters.
• There is an increasing sense of loss. The grief does not diminish as in other grief reactions. This feeling of loss may be worse on birthdays and other family occasions.
•  Ths loss of the right to parent a first child may affect subsequent parenting.
• The secrecy needed by society to cope with adoption imposes guilt, shame, worthlessness and loss of self-esteem on natural mothers, ulimately affecting their emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual health.
• That secrecy also damages the child it is claimed to protect.
• All relationships are affected, ultimately adversely, by the above affects of relinquishment.